Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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