i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
