Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I am spending my child support on dildos
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
