yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
