:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
