I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
