Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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