just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
