If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize
