I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
