I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
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