Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
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