But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
