How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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