Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
17 year olds will be the death of me.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
