i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
