I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
