Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
