Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
