What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
