Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
