Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize