Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
