So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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