When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
