so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
