Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
