I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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