Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Me too!
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
