There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Randomize
