Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
the liver wants what the liver wants
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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