Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize