I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
