no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
