i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
