I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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