I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
FUCK WHALES
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
