Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
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