i just wanna soil my oats bro
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
