I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize