But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
