She's JV to your varsity
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
