He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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