just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
