you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
