why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
