There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
