He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
