if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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