Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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