Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
