another moral hangover. fuck.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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