She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
