well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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