Christians are straight up FREAKS
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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