We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize