She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize