her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
