Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Randomize
