sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
