if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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