Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
my phone needs a breathalizer
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
