Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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