Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
