I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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