Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
