Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
