my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I love you.
Bad choice
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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