I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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